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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

25 Things within the World of Harry Potter that just DON'T MAKE SENSE!

        This last Friday, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was finally released, marking the end of the Boy Wizard's cinematic journey. Having read all of the books, seen all of the films, and having grown up as a member of Generation Potter, there are all sorts of things that I could write for the occasion. I could talk about how the series got a whole group of young people reading again, or how deeply the lexicon of the magical world has infiltrated popular culture. Better yet, I could rank each of the movies and books, or even discuss the jaw-dropping number of box office records the new film shattered over the weekend (biggest midnight showing ever, biggest single day ever, biggest domestic opening ever, biggest foreign opening ever, biggest world-wide opening ever). But I'm not going to do those things (save the mini-list you just read), and you know why? Because everyone's doing it!

        So, I'm going to celebrate the passing of Potter in my own way: by making fun of it! The following is a list of 25 things within the world of Harry Potter that simply don't add up. Feel free to leave a comment below disputing any of my claims, or, better yet, adding to the list. Enjoy:
1. What's up with broom sticks, anyways?
        Sure, us Muggles seem to be a bit more weary of our safety than your average wizard, but would anyone in their right mind really feel secure riding for miles on end at top speeds and sizable heights on something that doesn't even have handles, let alone seat belts? And what about the splinters? Wouldn't your hands get sweaty and slippery with only a small wooden cylinder to hold on to? On a different level, why do witches and wizards even know about brooms, anyways? Surely they have more graceful, effective methods of cleaning their dungeon floors. Most importantly, given how riding a bike feels after extended periods, wouldn't broom riding reeeeeeeeeeally be murder on your butt? Just sayin'...

2. Three unforgivable curses, one unbeatable
        For all of the curses and counter-curses that exist within J.K. Rowling's universe, wouldn't you think there would be more than one with the power to kill? Doesn't it get a little dull for Voldemort to use the same two words to wipe out every last person? Even us non-magical folk have figured out more than one way to rub someone out.

3. Why aren't Ron and Hermione the, 'Cool Kids,' at Hogwarts?
        As if being besties with The Chosen One isn't cool enough, Ron and Hermione save the lives of everyone in the school on a seemingly yearly basis. Why aren't these kids way, way, way more popular? Everyone treats Ron like a doofy, red-headed stepchild, and Hermione like a know-it-all bookworm. I don't know about your school, but where I grew up, saving the world on the regular would yield much greater rewards. Harry and Ron can't even find dates to the Yule Ball!?! In real life, they would be crawling with ladies. Hermione, on the other-hand, might prove too intimidating to go after. Ah, gender roles...

4. Is Lily Potter really the very first person to take the bullet for someone in the wizarding world?
        OK, so, Harry is the only person to ever survive the Avada Kedavra curse, and it was because his mother sacrificed her life out of love for him. That all checks out. But hasn't anyone tried that before? There are two incidences of half-bood genocide over the course of just 20 years, and not a single person in the Harry Potter universe has even tried taking the bullet for a loved one? What a selfish lot!

5. Quiddich: the worst sport of all time
        Leave it to the wizarding world to invent a game even worse than Soccer. Sure, Quiddich is fun, and exciting, and what not, but its scoring system is nothing short of moronic. Goals are worth 10 points, and catching the snitch is worth 150? Unless you're a seeker, why bother even trying? As long as you're not losing by a whopping 16 GOALS, you're golden. And don't bring up Krum catching it early at the world cup: Purposely losing a game is called quitting, not being honorable.

6. All that magic and you're still wearing glasses...
        Seriously, they can literally grow back entire skeletons in a night's time, and yet no one has figured out a spell or potion to cure poor eye-sight? Maybe it's just a fashion thing, but fixing Harry's vision should be as easy as swish and flick.

7. Who gives a rip about Jesus; we can do MAGIC!
        Witches and wizards can literally defy the most basic and essential tenant of physics by creating matter, and yet they still celebrate Christmas? Turning water into wine is probably a spell that you learn in your third year, and with the ghosts ever-lurking around castle corridors, I can't imagine conquering death seems all that cool, either. Maybe they only celebrate the Santa/Coca-Cola Christmas.

8. Have fun at Hogwarts, kids. We'll see you in the afterlife
        Another year, another threat to every living thing inside the walls of Hogwarts. How can all of these parents feel good about continuously placing their children's lives at risk? Do they not know what happens in the castle? Are there no parent-teacher meetings? The second I heard the words, 'giant, hostile, three-headed dog,' my off-spiring would be headed for Durmstrang.

9. Spring: A Wizard's most dangerous season
        Spring is a rough school season even in real life: You can almost feel the warm rays of summer on your back, and yet you have to focus on all of your final tests and most daunting projects. But that's nothing compared to the experiences of Harry, Ron and Hermione, who narrowly escape death as a seasonal occasion. Seriously, Harry's life is in danger at the end of literally every school year. I suppose the other two have it a bit easier, but almost meeting your demise during your 11th, 12th, 15th, and 17th springs is nothing to scoff at. As soon as winter starts thawing out, you'd better hide.

10. Dumbledore: wise and inspiring figure, poor talent evaluator
        Dumbledore might be one of the greatest wizards to ever live, but he couldn't differentiate a good teacher from a bad one if his life depended on it. Seriously, six different Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers in six years? That's a pretty rough track record, especially when one is a talentless fraud, another is a werewolf, and two are acting under the direction of the Dark Lord. Sure, he gets as pass on ministry-imposed Dolores Umbridge, but that doesn't make up for hiring a fake like Trelawney, or a leech like Slughorn. Seriously, Dumbledore: You need to do more extensive background checks.

11. Voldemort: powerful wizard, lousy strategist
        He may be the most feared wizard in the world, but Voldemort has a pronounced tendency to act first, and think second. Trust Draco Malfoy to kill Dumbledore: seriously? You're sending a 16-year-old to murder your biggest rival? I know you want to crush the Malfoy family into submission, but aren't there less important tasks to do it with? And if Voldy knows all about the prophecy and the date of birth that it singles out, why doesn't he make sure to kill Neville, just in case? Maybe that would be a good job for Draco! For such a leader of men, old Tom Riddle is pretty lousy at the crossing T's and dotting I's kinda stuff.

12. What a surprise: The Tri-Wizard Tournament killed someone!
        Sure, no one could have predicted that Cedric Diggory would be snuffed by Voldemort at the end of the final challenge, but you had to expect someone to bite the dust during this contest. 16-year-olds versus full-grown, fire-breathing dragons, and murderous merpeople? It's a miracle you didn't kill all of these kids! Count your blessing, and then lower your standards.

13. Breaking out of Azkaban is inexplicably time-consuming
        Not to hate on Sirius Black or anything, but what took you so long? If all it took was losing a bit of weight and slipping into dog form, couldn't he have just starved himself for a few months, and made a break for it straight-away? Also, is Sirius the first Animagus ever imprisoned at Azkaban? Seems unlikely, and yet those oh-so-powerful Dementors saw a dog running through the halls and didn't think twice about it.

14. That's no way to treat The Boy Who Lived!
        Not to be sacrilegious about it or anything, but isn't Harry something of a Christ-figure in the world he inhabits? Do you really think that the masses would side with a smarmy politician like Minister Fudge against the person responsible for returning order and peace to their world? Come on, Seamus, you'd be dead without this kid, he's saved the school twice already, and you're still not going to take him at his word? Tough crowd...

15. Where's the (magical) Beef?
        A bit silly, but if wizards have awesome candy and vaguely alcoholic drinks, why isn't there more wizard-specific food served at Hogwarts? Chicken legs and potatoes again? That's muggle-fodder. Let's get some hippogriph wings up in here!

16. Can we get a head-count?
        How many magical people are there in the world? Hogwarts seems to educate anywhere between 200 to 1,000 students at a time, depending on the filmic adaptation, and only two other schools are ever mentioned. Yet there's a fully-staffed political system, and even populous enough to make the Quiddich World Cup a multi-national event. Where are they all hiding, and don't they all need educations too?

17. Will someone give Bartie Crouch an Oscar already?
        I'm sure that Bartie Crouch did his fair share of homework before deciding to impersonate one of the most iconic wizards around for an entire year, but seriously, no one figured it out? His mannerisms and voice were sooo spot on that even those who had known Mad Eye Moody for years didn't think twice? That's a tough voice to impersonate, and even trickier body-language. Hats off to the mystical world's finest thespian.
18. The Weasleys: The most alluring family in all the land
        I'm known to admire a ginger girl or two, but there's something in those Weasley genes that seems to knock just about everyone off their feet. Much has been made about goofy old Ron landing a wip-smart, adventure-seeking babe like Hermione, but that's just the tip of the ice burg. Ginny ends up with the savior of the world, and big brother Bill bags Fleur Delacour, a woman whose beauty makes everyone around her go weak at the knees. Not bad for a bunch of copper-tops.

19. Sure, Harry, the Durselys will keep you safe!
        I understand that the Dursely's are Harry's legal guardians, but do you really think sending him back to the Muggle world is such a good idea? Voldemort has an easy enough time getting to the boy wizard as is. Somehow I don't think he would find the prospect of facing down Vernon and Petunia all that daunting.

20. I've heard of peaking early, but this is ridiculous!
        You know that kid who was really, really cool in high school, and then didn't end up amounting to much thereafter? That's everyone at Hogwarts. I'm sure that vanquishing evil a handful of times before you can even buy cigarettes might make grown-up life kind of boring, but do you really think that each and every single one of your buddies would end up marrying the person they were dating in prep-school? Even Voldemort, the most powerful wizard around, hid half his sole within the school, encased in various Hogwarts swag and merchandise. Get over it, dude.

21. Ministry of Magic=House of Cards
        I understand that the ministry was under some pretty extreme pressure, but would it really only take a few months to secretly over-throw an entire government? As late into the story as the end of the sixth book, the Ministry is still a no-no to all things Voldemort. A few months later, they've got a freakin' statue dedicated to Muggle abuse right outside the door. In the future, more amendments might help.

22. Those are some well-trained owls you have there
        When I see a large flock of birds flying above me, I look for cover. The kids at Hogwarts: they just finish their dinner. Seriously, no bird poops or even sheds wings as they deliver letters night after night? And what about Bird-Flu? How is this not a health code violation?

23. I may hate Half-Bloods, but deep down, I'm color-blind
        In a world just as preoccupied with establishing and prolonging prejudices based on heritage as we are, isn't it strange that no one cares about race? Especially little Draco, the perfect Aryan, who uses the term, 'Mud-Blood,' in every other sentence. Good news for Kingsley Shackbolt, I suppose.

24. It's Friday Night, Let's...
        It's alluded to at points, but it sure seems like the wizarding world is woefully lacking in the pop-culture department. Yeah, if I could do magic, I suppose summer blockbuster movies wouldn't be quite as cool, but what about music? How does one even listen to recorded music without electricity? Are the only people who are famous those who have actually accomplished something of meaning? Well, that kind of sounds quite nice, but still, what do people talk about/spend their free time on if not books (not textbooks), movies, and music?

25. It's like sword-fighting, only lame and non-sensical
        This seems to be the whipping-boy of the Harry Potter universe of late, and why not? What exactly is going on during a wand duel? Some of them seem to consist of actual spell-casting, but often, and especially the ones between Harry and Voldemort, they look like two people trying to pull a magnet off of something. Is the wand doing all the work for you? And how is it exactly that you win? Do you just have to want it more or something? I guess we'll never know...

26 comments:

  1. Great list! I applaud you on No. 4 especially. That one has ALWAYS bothered me, so I totally agree with you. What,he thought to protect your loved one at all costs has NEVER crossed the minds of ANYBODY in the wizarding world?

    I waited and waited for a good explanation of why Harry Potter was so special, and the "mother's love" thing just wasn't plausible. Lily was the only mom to ever be willing to die for her kids? Wow, good for her and shame on the rest of the magical community...I know people who would die to protect their pets so yeah, I don't believe that.

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  2. With regards to the Triwizard Tournament:
    A) They did play up the whole dangerous angle, with a bunch of people questioning why they were bringing back a barbaric old-timey custom, the age limit, etc. Still kind of improbable, but she tried. And it pales in regard to

    B) The entire plot of that book makes absolutely zero sense. Can you give me one good reason fake Moody didn't just hand him a portkey stick of gum on the first day of class? Instead of hanging out undercover for an ENTIRE YEAR, and putting Harry's life at risk multiple times (which would have screwed the pooch on the gimme-your-blood plan)? I bet you can't.

    I've never commented on a blog before!

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  3. oh and living with the Dursleys was some kind of magical protection mumblemumblemumble

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  4. I hoped you would cop out with the simple call of a failure to utilize helpful muggle inventions... I bet you can't pull off a 6 syllable tongue-twister faster than my bullet can travel 15 feet...
    Although owls are traditional and adorable, they do probably take a good week to let mom know that you escaped the wrath of voldemort... Cell phones.

    The second idea I enjoyed was the stolen flying car. I think an invisibility cloak and a broom would have done the trick... and with dad being none the wiser. Gotta do something though, you miss the train, your butt is being held back a year. That can be very embarrassing for wizards, who cant really fully utilize their brute strength for bullying kids as a way of hiding their shame.

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  5. YEAH THIS WAS THE DUMBEST LIST EVER!!

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  6. I thought this list was awesome and Anonymous can FUCK OFF!

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  7. I sorta agree with anonymous, there are some things on this list that are explained pretty well the book. That being said, there are huge gaping plot holes and little logistical things that just don't make sense in the potter universe! Like how did Hagrid's dad bang Hagrid's giantess mother! I mean shes like 25 feet tall! Her p**** would've swallowed him!

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  8. Hi,
    are you sure that you have read the books? Because the loopholes that you mention make absolutely no sense.

    4. What makes you think that? Dumbledore, always knew the power of love. People knew, it was just that Voldemort was too vain to give it any note. He mentions it too, that it was stupid to have overlooked lily's protection.

    6. Here's an analogy. Food, is one the 5 exceptions to Gramp's law of elemental transfiguration. Exceptions exist everywhere; so why should it be necessary for one to be able to fix eyesight just because one can regrow bones?

    10. Seriously? Because the job was denied to Voldemort, it gets become vacant every year. It's all reasoned.

    11. Voldemort doesn't trust Malfoy to kill Dumbledore. He intends for Malfoy to die (and hence punish Lucius for what happened at the ministry) and ultimately intends Snape to kill Dumbledore.

    13. Sirius is an unregistered animagus

    14. Public Perception is based on the newsletters they follow. This basically shows the fickleness and gullibility of public. I am sure, you have surely observed it in our world, as well?

    17. So, you think everyone was well acquainted with the mannerisms of Mad Eye Moode? Really?

    19. Lily died to save Harry. Her blood keeps him alive, that is the reason he goes to his aunt; who is related to him by blood. This fact has been explicitly stated in the books.

    22. So, the fact that they're wizards - is absolutely no justification now, is it?

    I'm sorry, AS a true potterhead. I felt like I just had to clarify ^those points. Anyway, Cheerio.

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    Replies
    1. I totally agree...You'll find that these 'things that don't make sense' actually are explained clearly and simply. If you find that you watch the movies or read the books, they do explain all of these..

      Sanchit Saluja, I hear you. Being a Potterhead it just boils my blood to find incorrect points. Sorry if you don't agree with me.

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  9. @Sanchit Saluja
    I know our posts are a year apart, but whatever...
    As for #6 and those exceptions it's just stupid! (I mean the idea of those exceptions, I'm not trying in any way to offend you.) You can transfigure a glass to a mouse (as said in HP6, talk with the PM; and I know it was not a mouse, I just dont remember English word for it and am too lazy to check). So, you should be able to transfigure something to a chicken, right? Free food! As for drinks, if I remember correctly (again HP6) Hagrids hut was on fire and they put it out with water from their wands, right? Oh well, Dumbledore made some juice for Dursleys. Free drinks.
    #13 Yeah, Sirius is an unregistered animagus. And so is Rita Skeeter. And so was James Potter and Petter Pettedidntcaretoremember. Hermione mentioned something about 7-8 animagus being registered, didn't she? And we know about 4 unregistered from last, like what, 30 years? I think there should be a lot more unregistered animagus witches and wizards. Thefts etc. Who would like to be monitored by the Ministry anyway?
    #17 Dumbledore should.
    #19 He should just stick to the Dumbledore. Why waste time with Dursleys? Especially after 5th book.
    #22 I don't think it is. Why bath? You are a wizard. Why worry about Poltergeist throwing ink bottles at you? You are a wizard. etc., etc.

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  10. The catch is that she is a "Potterhead". Ask 2 sports fans from opposing teams about 1 bad call and you will get 2 different answers... Ask a fan who doesnt care for either team, he will see the play for what it is. The potterhead refuses to see the silly occasions/concepts in the books bc she Loves them. Like Voldemort, she didn't stop to consider how much her love protects her from her own logical processes...

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  11. Broomsticks have gripping and cushioning charms, THEY ARE WIZARDS. DUH! (1) Have you even read the books? Snitches are extrodinerrely fast and are bewitched to evade capture. And Krum had a choice- loose really badly or loose by 10 points. Its a no-brainer. (5) Dementors cant see, only smell and sense (13) In what way can a sword do more damage than the 3 unforgivable curses, not to mention every single other illegal spell (25)

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  12. For all the plotholes in HP, most of yours are just someone who never read th books or read them with his ass.

    1) brooms have cushioning and other charms to make it confortable and etc. Also is not because wizards can clean anything with a flick of a wand in 20th century when the books happen, that they always had a spell for it. The DoM
    for example, study branches of people that wizards know little if anything at all for pratical purposes.

    2) who said the Killing Curse is the only one that can kill? You have Snape's sectumsempra, Dolohov's curse he used in Hermione (it was instakill if cast verbally), Peter spell he used to blow up THIRTEEN people and a street, and Fiendfyre that is basically a mass murder weapon in the right hands etc. You have plenty of spells for kill, just happens that the Killing Curse is forbide for it deadly nature and the fact it cannot be blocked different from other curses.

    3) In Harry First Year, he got the scorn of three of the four Houses for losing Gryffindor 200 points with his friends for most of the year; in the second year he was being labeled a dark wizard for his parseltongue abilities; third year I havee no idea but after two years of shit is no surprise his reputation is not all that; fourth year the school (and schools) are sort of mad at him for geting into the triwizard tournament; fifth year Harry had all the Umbridge/Ministry shaming him, basically the same as the president bad mouthing you; Harry sixth year reputation is better than ever, actually with the whole chosen one stuff, his skirmish at the MoM and now him as quidditch captain, some girls were even thinking about give him a love potion. His seventh year he had half wizarding britain railing for him.

    4) Just taking a bullet is not how it works. In order to the spell be triggered, Voldemort had to offer Lily a chance for survive and was her refusal of it and wanting to be killed in Harry place that lead to the whole love protection. Her love + her sacrifice + Voldemort proposal seems to be the variables needed to trigger the protection. Basically, had Snape not begged Voldemort spare Lily or Voldemort ignored his request, the sacrifice probably would have not worked.

    Also they say Harry is the first to survive the killing curse. Perhaps in other moments in wizarding history, people survived less deadlier curses the same way Harry did.

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  13. 6) Well, professional quidditch seems to be much more fast paced than the amateur quidditch so it may not be so rare to a team score a lot without the snitch (and we know of games that dragged for days or months too). I think a possible fail at quidditch however would be the teams at a game dragging it to score a lot of points but then is possible that you have rules agains't doing it.

    7) Lets be honest here, does someone still celebrate Christmas for religious reasons? I'm atheist and I celebrate it not because of Jesus but food, gifts and eggnog. I'm sure its the same with wizards. Anyway, two things. First If someone want to believe something, they will. Even if all the evidence goes against it. Thats how you still have people who believe on flat or young Earth nowadays etc. If a wizard wanna believe in God, they will.

    Second, in Harry Potter nobody ever conquered death the way Jesus did. He come back from the dead and then ascended to the Heavens, while one of th laws of magic is that you cannot ressurrect someone - ghosts are merely imprints of deceased wizards and the ressurection stone or priori incantaten are just capable of doing slight better than that. As far as it go Jesus still get that one.

    8) Wizards favorite sport is throwing iron balls at each other and facing giant, fire breathing wizards is nothing but a slight more dangerous sport for them.
    Ofc muggles have their quote of violence is funny too (american footbal?) but
    wizards natural resilence and the fact they can regrow bones in a night, heal deep cuts with ease and a whole lot of shit like that make sure that muggles envision of danger is not the same as wizards. Despite that, calling a forest forbidden but not even puting a magical barrier around it (when you have one around the entire school) or a three headed dog in a acessible floor with only a "do not enter" warning that worked wonders for the aforementioned forest is really reckless. I'm personally would never leave said school even with that but I would definitely not allow my children into it atleast during Harry years.

    But then we only saw Hogwarts at Harry years and they were not exactly the most normal the school ever saw. Back at the Marauders time, the forbidden forest was the only thing Hogwarts had of a stretch of security.

    9) this is not the norm. The 90's were on the verg of a civil war and before that they just left one. Most of Hogwarts bullshit was a result of that. Harry first year at Hogwarts escalated to that because Voldemort was after the stone. Of course puting the freaking stone at a school was dumb as hell but is not something that always happen when anyone that is not Dumbledore is at the command (really, considering all Dumbledore choices for teachers, security measures etc in his ternure, the Ministry had a point in the five book even if for the wrong reasons). His second year was basically Malfoy being a fucking douchebag, had he not slipped the diary into Ginny's things not even Albus fucking Dumbledore (and yes, I deeply dislike him) could have fucked school this year.

    His fourth and fifth year was again, Dumbledore reckleness and manipulation, coupled with Voldemort douchebaggery that lead to the shit happening. But if not for Voldemort nobody would have died in the fourth year (yes, triwizard tournament was dangerous but it was wizarding-acceptable-dangerous and for 17 year olds wizards that are already adults according to wizarding law have a part in not a kid like Harry that slipped in for reasons beyond anyone control). And his fifth year except for Umbridge blood quill, things went bad only for the protagonists for digging where they should not (ie. Order business, Ministry). For everyone else the year was not so bad per se.

    And his seventh year, Harry was not even at Hogwarts. Hunting horcruxes and fighting dark wizards it not a wizarding hobby or wtv but something that Harry choose to do (sort of, Dumbledore a bit of manipulated him into it).

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  14. 10) there was a curse on the DADA post. Nobody could hold it for more than a year thanks to Voldemort. Now considering Voldemort cursed it around the 70s or 60s, thats a long time searching new teachers. Soon or later people ur going to run out of good options either because they are gone or they are not willing to be the 738278247th teacher in twenty years. In Lockarth's case, for example, he was the only one who subscribed for the job after the incident w/ Quirrel last year.

    And Moody was supposed to be a good teacher but nobody expected him to be kidnapped and impersonated (and honestly, even the students admit that Crouch Jr. death eater or no was a good teacher and they learned a lot of shit from him).

    11) If Draco killed Dumbledore or not don't mattered. In the end or Snape was supposed to do it or in the case he failed aswell, the bunch of DEs inside the school were supposed to finish the old man. And for Neville, we don't know If he planned to kill him back then when they were babies but after they grown up, Neville was so unremarkable (all while Harry got away from being killed like a bunch of times) that he probably don't wasted his time with him. Maybe in the 80s he planned to go after Neville just in case but after he got crippled by Harry, why he would waste his time with Neville? If I was a dark lord likely I would one for make sure and two because it would be a big emotional blow to Harry have one of his friends murdered making him more unstable, maybe. But I can understand why Voldemort would not especially with his personality flaws (you know, the ones that were shoved at us at the sixth book showing why despite being smart Voldemort commited a lot of fails. Funny or not even smart people can make mistakes just Sue's dont).

    12 - 17 years old and they are already considered adults by wizarding law by that age. Also you don't think its funny that between the dragons and the not murderous merpeople (in the books they were here basically to oversee how things go and stop the champions from taking other rescues, they do not act violenct at all, go read the fucking books) nobody died until Voldemort steped in? thats because they took all the safety measures + the fact wizards are not frail like muggles to make sure it didn't happen.

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  15. 13. Like Sirius said, the dementors basically crushed his soul. He only got th strenght (mental strenght) to break in when he saw Harry was in danger. Until that he was in a perpetual self-loathing for trusting Peter. Second, dementors cannot see. They only feel and Sirius simplified dog feelings were to his own words not so different from the despaired minds of the people rotting here. In other words the dementors saw no difference between a dog and a demented person. And third yes, is possible that other animagus were locked here but how you know the shape they took would be fiting for escape? Sirius was a dog and he still had to be starved for fit between the bars, what if a animagus was something bigger than a dog or anything else? and again, Sirius only got the will power to escape because Harry was in danger. If you read the books, you woud know that how you feel affect a wizard magic. Merope Gaunt and Nymphadora Tonks, both got their magic somewhate downed for being sad or depressed and thats what happen in Azkaban when your happines and will is geting suck out of you in a daily basis. You just cannot do magic properly. It was very specific reasons that lead Sirius to being capable of escape.

    14. Harry had been receiving bad publicity since his second year when they discovered he spoke parseltongue. Then in his fourth year he started receiving it both from other school and Houses and the media (especially Skeeter) as a "attention seeker". Now think of it, the boy got famous because he supposed killed Voldemort, not being capable of come back from the dead is one of the laws of magic and horcruxes are a obcure, mostly unknown subject. So Harry had no way of proving Voldemort was really back with him working in hidding. Is not like people just sided with Fudge - Fudge was the Ministry, basically th president and he was constantly bombarding both Harry with bad propaganda in the media, in the school, in the government etc. And the thing is, just after Harry crippled Voldemort as evidenced by Snape in the Spinner End chapter in HBP, Harry had a fame of the next dark lord so much that even some DEs thought about railing after him. Then you have him display a skill associated with the dark arts and him constantly looking unbalanced with the remarks about his scar paining, him joining the triwizard tournament making him looks like a attention seeker etc. There was a lot of shit going on that lead him to being discredited and still it was not everyone but a share of the wizarding britain anyway.

    You should not understimate the power the media, a good bit of policy and th ignorant masses can aford to someone's reputation.

    15. because wizards don't exist in a paralel universe. Until the 1600s wizards and muggles coexisted (not harmonious ofc) and shared parts of their culture with each other. From where you think come all the muggle folklore about the flying brooms and cauldrons and the muggle technology in the wizard world? also who said that muggles invented that food? how you know that wizards didn't created it and muggles started eating it too? culture aside, wizards use magical ingredients to make magic not food because they are expensive. So why they would eat something they will have a better use making something else like a potion to give them good lucky? so silly like you said.

    16. According to Rowling, 3000 wizards on Britain. But she's not good with numbers like she admit herself so according to some mathematicians potter heads, atleast 10000 wizards at any time is a more acceptable number both for keep a estable mortality/birth rate and the magical organizations working. If you keep a 10000 rate for every country in the world, 10kx200 = 200.000 wizards over the world. Naturally i'm not counting every country nor puting in account that some countries are definitely going to have more or less witchs but overall, 250k-350k is a good estimative I think.

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  16. And all of them receive education. Beauxbatons, Hogwarts and Durmstrang are just three schools. You have Mahoutokoro in Japan, one in Brazil and the Salem Institute in USA for example (let alone the Wizarding School of the Dramatic Arts for example).

    19. Well, the blood protection is supposed to keep Voldemort away from him. But honestly, I think Dumbledore keep Harry with the Dursley to manipulate him effectively. Make him feel like he has no true home besides the wizarding world (and Hogwarts) and feel attached and love it so when the time comes he would willing let himself die for his friends and the greater good. Now in all my honest, I think it was still sort of dumb from Albus. Its true that Harry still ended a nice kid but being bullied by the Dursley could have backfired horrible turning him either in a weeping weak kid like Neville in his first years or in a totally psycho with a burning hate for everyone like Voldemort (or if he was lucky, a bitter guy like Snape).

    SO yeah, I totally give this one to you.

    20. well, only the trio and Ginny married to their "school soulmates". Neville, for example, married Hannah and while they are of the same school, the kids basically spend seven years together under the same roof. For nine months every year. They spend more time in those years with each other than with their parents. And considering how much smaller is wizarding population in a comparison with muggles, is not really a stretch they ended with their school mates.

    Despite that, not everyone did. Luna ended with Rolf Scamander for example. You is right in saying not everyone marry their "school peeps" but many does and in the self absorbed bubble that is wizarding britain thats not a surprise.

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  17. 21) Considering that Voldemort had tons of moles inside the Ministry and that they did a coup d'etat by killing the Ministry and put a puppet minister in his place without anyone noticing until it was too late, yes. I think so. Voldemort and his goons have been planning to overthrow the Ministry since his return in the fourth book. Between the end of fourth and seventh book it was basically three years for them plotting, with one year without the Ministry know it to try to do something about it. When they did it, they did without scandals.

    On my country they did one much more blatantly than Voldemort in something like a year or two too, decades ago until it was take down. The coup itself happened in a few days.

    22 - Those owls are not common owls. They can deliver a letter to someone just by knowing their name, why you think they cannot control their poop? Is really such a stretch for a magical world?

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  18. 23 - So, just because Draco is a perfect aryan and call muggleborns a slur, he needs to be a racist too? and homophobe, I suppose? Maybe antisemit? funny thing, you can be totally racist and don't see any problem with a guy who like guys just like you can totally hate jews and have no problem with a black guy (internet is full of these). So why every wizard should hate blacks just because he hates halfbloods and looks aryan? By the point that Hitler founded the nazism, wizards and muggles had no contact for like, 300 years or more due to the statue of secrecy. So yeah, you aryan comparison was a sad thing.

    However, slavery still existed by the 1600s so its totally possible that some wizards hated people on their skin color but this is something that Rowling choose to not take direct into and rather make an allegory through halfbloods and muggleborns who are supposed to mirror not only the racism of color but of every type (just like lycanthrophy is one to AIDS for example). Honestly, I expected you would be aware of that tsc tsc.

    24. Who said there's no pop culture? The Weird Sisters are a rock band that is very famous among the teens, Ron had a comic book called Martin Miggs. Quidditch is to wizards what soccer or basketball is for muggles. And you still have a lot of wizarding games besides quidditch - explosive snape, wizarding chess etc. Older wizards even have books or singers they like like Gilderoy or Celestina Warbeck and there's a whole school dedicated to the dramatic arts, the wizarding school of dramatic arts so even if they don't have movies they definitely have plays. Sometimes they go to bars to pass the time too etc.

    So yeah, you have an entire industry of eintertainment for books, comics, music, sports, toys, games, acting etc.

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  19. 25) Go read the books. Duels are nothing like that at all. Yet... even in the movies most duels are not "pulling the magnet" like you say, so maybe the problem is with you this time not the movies.

    Geez. I love how with so many flaws and some plotholes HP has, people always criticize it for their "knowledge" of the movies.

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  20. In point 24, it was explosive snaps. Not Snape.

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  21. Nice list but you forgot two things
    First why do the Wizards use their own currency/ still on the gold standard? This makes zero sense. Not only does this make everything more complicated since there are two different forms of money for no reason, but no one has used gold coins for hundreds of years and we haven't used the gold standard since the 1930'start. The second issue is that they ignore all muggle laws. From Azkaban breaking human rights laws, too Hogworts not requiring teachers to having a teachers license. Hell in the fourth book they totally ignore safety regulations with the stupid Tri Wizard cup and they even have slaves in the forum of house elves. Pretty much everyone in the Harry Potter universe should go to jail.

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  22. Nice list but you forgot two things
    First why do the Wizards use their own currency/ still on the gold standard? This makes zero sense. Not only does this make everything more complicated since there are two different forms of money for no reason, but no one has used gold coins for hundreds of years and we haven't used the gold standard since the 1930'start. The second issue is that they ignore all muggle laws. From Azkaban breaking human rights laws, too Hogworts not requiring teachers to having a teachers license. Hell in the fourth book they totally ignore safety regulations with the stupid Tri Wizard cup and they even have slaves in the forum of house elves. Pretty much everyone in the Harry Potter universe should go to jail.

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  23. One thing that doesn't make sense: Why do they still use quills? Wizards think they are better than muggles, yet they still don't use pens or any other useful muggle inventions.

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    ReplyDelete